The Fear by Lily Allen
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do you ever sit in ur friends room and just wonder how many times theyve masturbated where ur sitting

no but now i will and it’s honestly your fault

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if school taught everyone that rape is bad and racism is bad instead of teaching how to find the angle of a kite im pretty sure the world would be a safer place

kites probably wouldn’t fly as well though

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i think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way really it’s so cute

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my mom and dad were arguing in front of me whether to give me a present now or to wait til christmas and my mom was like “can we give her it now?” and my dad was like “what present” and my mom was like “you know… the good one” and my dad was like “spell it” and my mom goes “GREG, SHE’S 23”

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a human year = 7 dog years

a dog is a man’s best friend

7 is God’s favorite number

dog is God backwards


This is a useless coincidence. 

so was your birth

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